by Elizabeth Burgard Fulgaro copyright 2020
Oct 22 to Jan 6 reflections from an upcoming book for tending hurting hearts at Christmas
In the dark, when you cannot yet see the new day’s approach, there may be temptation to stay under the blankets and not move. Because, what if? What if that toward which you think He is directing is not where things are going at all? What if that in which you hope is actually hopeless? What if what you thought God was saying is myth? A figment. Merely imagined. What if He isn’t really saying anything at all? What if all that upon which you placed hope is as nothing?
A Light shines in the darkness…the Light of the world and the darkness has not and shall not over come it. Like the sun which in some ways remind of aspects of Jesus, indeed He will rise and make Himself more evident. He is not silent. He is leading. It is just here in the darkness before the dawn you cannot see. Where fear can creep in. But fear is not usually how God speaks. Fear and its anxiety are generally sourced in hell, not heaven. The day is coming, which will be filled with His Light and then you will see clearly.
Yet for now, there are those times when how you are inside does not match the festivities outside. This is agony at first. A place He is loving stripping away the lessor trappings of the holidays. This is how He takes you to Himself. The process is not simple or “fluffy” fun. It is edgy. It cuts. There is a sharpness to it. A vividness to the pain due to this particular season which is unwelcome because what was relied on for meaning is no longer there as it was.
He made you with emotions. He made you to love because He is love and you are made in His image. He knows where you are is painful and potentially confusing. There may be doubt and uncertainty. You may feel pressed down on by outside forces or feel discouraged and hopeless because of your current situation. There may be an excruciating awareness that life will never be the same. And truthfully, it may not.
You are normal. God is with you. God expects your anguish. He knows there is pain there. He knows! He specifically does not expect you to be brave in a way that pretends the pain is not, but for you to be honest. You are to come toward Him and keep on coming. Do not stop.
He puts no demands on you for this holy-day season except perhaps one. He wants you to come to Him. Turn to Him where you are and as you are. Meet Him at the manger with all of this honestly bared. He is ready for your frustrations. They are welcomed. There you can let it out as if beating on His spiritual chest. You are not surprising Him. He sees. He knows. He can take it. He loves you.
What is the guttural, honest question in you that you need to lay before Him today and wait emptied for Him to eventually fill you will His answer? With what do you need to entrust Him until the answer comes, so that here before the dawn—before you can see or understand–you can dare to come out from under the covers and prepare for the unstoppable increased coming of the Son.
Lord, sometimes I want to hide from what is as well as that which might not come to pass. The uncertainty can be unbearable some days. And yet, I know that is not Your message to me in this season. If I will choose to lift my eyes to You, You promise me a different view. So here I am. Spirit continue to empty me of that which hinders greater understanding. Give me Your strength to be brave. And fill me then that refreshing which comes from comprehending more Your heart which will quench my deep inner thirst and cause joy to well up like a fountain until it overflows.
17 The poor and needy are seeking water when there is none; their tongues are parched with thirst. I the Lord will answer them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.
18 I will open rivers on the bare heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.
Isaiah 41:17-18 AMPC
29 But if from there you will seek (inquire for and require as necessity) the Lord your God, you will find Him if you [truly] seek Him with all your heart [and mind] and soul and life.
Deuteronomy 4:29 AMPC
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